I started writing this as just a chronicle of television
shows I’ve loved over the course of my nearly 40 years. I realized part way
through that what I ought to be writing about was the shows that really changed
me. Most of them are science fiction shows, some of them are fantasy, and a
small handful are comic book related. They are all classically defined “nerd”
shows. I’ve learned the most about myself and life through shows like this
starting with shows that I had to watch because they were on in the households I
grew up in and later, those I chose for myself.
Sometimes shows you watch mean something to you because of
what was going on in your life when you found them. Sometimes shows mean
something to you because they were so good. Sometimes shows mean something to
you because they meant something to someone else near you. Good, bad, or
indifferent, shows make marks on us because of a variety of reasons.
My grandmother introduced me to Wonder Woman at the tender age
of probably two or three. Young enough that I was mobile without being overly dexterous.
I owe my love of Diana Prince to her. I mentioned before that I thought my mom
vaguely resembled Lynda Carter. (In truth I thought my mom looked like the
perfect combination of Lynda and Jaclyn Smith.) I hoped so hard that I, too,
would grow up to resemble Diana. Strong, beautiful, brave, and able to change
clothes with a quick spin. Whether I love Diana because my grandmother
introduced me to her, or I love Diana because she’s a badass is irrelevant at
this point. But I originally loved her because my grandmother introduced us.
“And since I’m finished here sir, may I point out that everything
that I have said would have been listened to if it came from an adult officer.”
The next show I was introduced to was Star Trek: The Next
Generation. I was introduced to this show during a not so great living
situation. That I enjoyed it as much as I did was a testament to the show’s
quality and acting. I’ve already stated that I don’t really remember much of
season 1, if I watched it at all. Edit: I just looked up the episode I’m about
to refer to and the one that little quote up there references and it was in the
back half of season one. So clearly there were some season one episodes that I remember
watching.
I’ve already talked about my love for Deanna Troi in Sheroes. I want to talk instead about the Crushers: Wesley and
Beverly. At the time in my life that I watched TNG, things were less than
ideal. In the intervening years, I’ve learned that for Wil Wheaton, things in
his life were also less than ideal. In Wesley, I got to see a kid who was
basically smarter than every adult on that ship. The adults seemed to resent
him. They talked to him like he was subhuman most times and brushed him off.
One of the most important episodes to me was one where Wesley had a moment to
shout back at his superiors and call them on their bullshit. (See above quote.)
That moment left me feeling so validated. A kid can be as smart or smarter than
an adult in their life. There’s no planet on which I would’ve attempted to
assert that to the adults in my life. But seeing someone else do it let me live
vicariously through the moment.
In Beverly, I could watch a mother fiercely love her kid.
She wanted only what was best for Wesley. She wanted to see him succeed and
become his best self. She nurtured his creativity and intelligence. She gave
him whatever tools he needed to succeed. She supported him when the path he
wanted to follow wasn’t the one she thought he ought. Beverly Crusher loved her
son AND was excellent at her job AND was independent and self-sufficient AND
she managed to care for Picard without losing herself and without letting him
just disrespect her son whenever he wanted. Beverly Crusher was an amazing
mother. She wasn’t perfect but from what I recall, when she was wrong, she owned
it and apologized.
Wesley was frequently disrespected on TNG. It’s an
unfortunate truth of the show, much how Beverly and Deanna were often
disrespected around their womanhood. I don’t know how to say this without it
sounding odd, but every time an adult waived Wesley off, I felt seen. I felt
like I wasn’t alone in being dismissed. Then getting to watch Wesley often go
on and prove that the adults were fucking jackasses for blowing him off allowed
me to live vicariously through him. I didn’t have those moments in my life. So,
watching Wesley meant a lot to me. Seeing him succeed in an environment that,
at the start especially, seemed to actively want him to fail spectacularly gave
me some hope that things wouldn’t always be the way they were. That adults and
parental figures could be good and supportive of the children in their lives.
Wesley also got bonus points for the fact that when the
other girls in my class went all googly eyed about how cute Wil was, I could say—and
mean—that I genuinely liked him. Just not like liked. I didn’t have the language
for who I like liked.
“We are starstuff. We are the universe made manifest,
trying to figure itself out.”
Babylon 5 was the first science fiction show I chose
entirely on my own. It holds the number three spot on my top three all-time
sci-fi shows list. I had a small TV/VHS combo in my bedroom, and I used my
money to buy blank VHS tapes to record every episode that aired. I loved it so
much that I joined the Fanclub. I read all the tie-in books that I could get my
little hands on. It was one of those shows where I legitimately loved nearly
every character. Susan Ivanova was my absolute favorite. Her dry wit was a balm
on my soul. She was dark and morbid and everyone either loved her for it or in
spite of it depending on how you looked at it. She was respected and knew how
to command a room (let alone a space station on the occasions it was called of
her). What I loved about Ivanova for her strength, I loved Delenn for her
gentleness. She was just as fierce and formidable (in some ways more so) yet
she did it all with a compassion and kindness that often was missing from
Ivanova.
Delenn put herself so forcefully into the shoes of others
that she transitioned from Minbari to a human hybrid in order to bridge the gap
between the two. She sacrificed so much and yet remained entirely herself and
self-possessed. It’s been rare over the course of my life that I have ever
actively wanted a heterosexual coupling in media to wind up together. Sheridan
and Delenn were one of the first and only (the other major couple I’ll talk
about in a bit) that I actively loved. They supported one another fully and
bolstered one another and challenged the other to grow and be better. They
didn’t cut one another down. They operated from a genuine space of love.
Sheridan loved the hell out of Delenn exactly as she was. He was one of the
first men I’d ever seen treat his potential partner with respect, dignity, and
genuine affection. Nearly all the other couples on shows and movies had one or
both partners speak to the other with disdain and disapproval. As if that was
the standard bar relationships should meet. It’s the romanticizing of abuse
that is 100% bullshit and exceptionally too common in media. If someone treats
you shitty, you can’t love them out of it.
I made posters of the Babylon 5 logo with the various
opening monologues. One winter when it snowed a lot, rather than make a
snowman, I built the space station. I was OBSESSED. I recently found it on
Amazon Prime and started rewatching the show. Sometimes when we go back and
watch shows we loved over again some of the magic gets lost, or—especially with
sci-fi—the whole thing feels outdated. And believe me there are moments that
feel outdated and special effects that frankly hurt to watch. The integrity of
the show, however, is still there. I’m only a few episodes into season 1 (my
second least favorite season) and surprisingly it still works for me.
With the discovery of Babylon 5, came the discovery of The
SciFi Channel (well before it became Syfy which I still think is silly). I
watched reruns of so many shows I missed out on the first time and new shows I couldn’t
get enough of. I fell in love with Sliders, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Highlander
and Highlander: Raven, and most importantly Farscape. I haven’t really talked
about it, but I loved the Muppets. Puppeteering was super fascinating to me and
honestly something I could’ve seen myself doing for a living in a different
life. When I heard, Jim Henson and science fiction together in one sentence I knew
it was something I had to try.
“Welcome to the Federation Starship SS Buttcrack.”
Farscape is nearly impossible to explain in a way that makes
any kind of sense, let alone that makes it sound appealing to watch for four
seasons and a movie. And yet, it is the top of my top three sci-fi shows ever
list. These misfits formed themselves a family, found themselves in the middle
of a war with the most aggressive species in the known universe, made the
silliest jokes you could ever possibly make, and supported one another as near
unconditionally as was possible for each of them to do (for some it was easier
than for others). I could go on a diatribe about every character on the series.
Every character (even ones you only met for an episode) evoked intense feelings
of some kind. Part of that is due to the writing of the show, another part is
due to the excellent actors they hired to play these characters.
Oh gosh, it hurts my brain to think of how on earth I’m
going to possibly talk about this show without just listing the main characters
and doing a chef’s kiss, muttering incoherently, then moving on to the next. I
can’t do it without gushing needlessly and giving away major plot points in my
excitement. I just tried. I got three characters in and realized I was giving
away the entire series. Sorry folks. You just have to take my word that these
characters are amazing. I will say this that each main character of the show
fills an archetype or trope role. They can easily be summed up by a stereotype,
but what the writers and the actors bring to those characters takes those
tropes uses it as a stepstool, then kicks it away and climbs to weird, new
places you wouldn’t’ve necessarily expected. That’s the best I can do in
telling you about my loves without giving away the whole goose.
The second hetero fictional relationship I ever saw and
said, “yes make it so, gimme the thing!” was John Crichton and Aeryn Sun. Like
Sheridan and Delenn, they made each other better simply by allowing the other
space to be themselves, truly and fully. Aeryn was brainwashed since birth and
had a major journey of essentially trauma healing to do (in her own seriously
brash way) and John had daddy issues he had to work out amongst other
immaturities that made him often a detriment to the group rather than an asset.
They gave each other space to grow and develop and, while they often didn’t
realize they were doing it, loved one another through their very individual
processes. They were both perfectly imperfect and complimented one another
beautifully. He was often light and silly to her somber and stern. It was the
old opposites attract but without all the icky “here let me change and fix you
to what I want you to be” bullshit that most of those tropes fall victim to.
John and Aeryn cared, in their own ways, about each other
and everyone living with them. The whole crew helped one another with their
hurts and hopes and fears and dreams. They had a common goal, to return to
their respective homes, in the beginning, but as they journeyed, they realized
that they genuinely wanted good for each other. Found family is my jam. It’s my
favorite trope of all the tropes. This show pulls all the best of sci-fi and
found family and humor and PUPPETS together to make this bizarre, delicious soup.
I’ve done my best to keep this spoiler-free, and I think I’ve succeeded, while
still conveying this show’s beauty. It’s not one of those shows that you can
just pick up anywhere in the series and follow along. You genuinely have to
start with episode one in season one. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me,
that show was worth every second of my time to watch and I enjoyed it (even the
“bad episodes” and there were a few) immensely.
“Pilots call me Starbuck; you may refer to me as God.”
The final of my top three sci-fi shows came a bit later (to
me anyway, I didn’t watch it when the reboot aired, I started it a little after).
Roger Moore’s reboot of Battlestar Galactica is one of the best, most relevant
science fiction television shows ever. Farscape is silly and wonderful and
creative, Babylon 5 is seriously dated and felt a lot like it could’ve been a
Star Trek series, it had all the hallmarks to fit into that franchise easily.
Battlestar Galactica felt like one of those shows that could happen now. It’s
science fiction but thematically it could happen now in many ways. I’m not
saying there are Cylons living amongst us. But the themes of this show, the
politics, the fears, the biases, could all be taken out of the sci-fi construct
and applied directly to what happens in our world on a regular basis.
The first three seasons were great. The fourth went a little
off the rails, but it wasn’t bad. This show was weird. I can’t really point to
a single character or a ship that I loved. I liked most everyone. But the
people that I disliked, I HATED. Again, this is a testament to the writing and
to the acting. The actors were so good at what they did that several of them, I
came away legitimately HATING. Like would happily punch in the face if they
existed in reality. But that’s the beauty of a well written show. The
characters that I despised were people that I could point to in my life and say
“hey you’re just like Colonel frakking asshole Tigh,” or “shut up, Gaius” could
be said to any number of dickheads I’ve known in my life.
Now, I say this knowing full well that there are little
journeys that both of these characters went on that gave them growth and depth
and vulnerabilities that took away some of my initial feelings that they were
wholly irredeemable. Again, the acting and writing being beautifully nuanced. I
think that was the difference in this show from others. The complexity gave my
imagination more to play with than the sci-fi of it all. It prescribed to much
of the sci-fi formulaic traditions. It was somehow different though. The way it
was shot and acted left you feeling just as exhausted as the crew had to have
been after jump after jump trying to stay just ahead of the Cylons and complete
annihilation. The despair peppered with hope wherever they could find it kept
me engaged.
Laura Roslin being wholly unprepared for leading all that
remained of her people while grappling with all her personal drama and traumas.
Bill Adama doing his gods damned best to keep the whole thing afloat and keep
everyone protected. Space Parents are probably the closest thing I have to a
ship from this show but I hesitate to ship them because they fall a little too
victim (particularly in the beginning) to the opposites who try and force the
other to become who they want rather than accept them as they are trope.
Honestly, though, that’s some of what’s so endearing about
BSG. It’s so refreshingly real and honest. Opposites try and change one
another. The beauty of Bill and Laura is that they realized that it was stupid
to do that and came together as they were naturally. They found a common place to
sit together and fell in love after they put their egos aside. It’s similar in
most of the relationships in this show. They are all honest and messy. No path
is linear. Everything is a mess and there is beauty in that mess. There is hope
somewhere in the middle of all the hopelessness. There is life somewhere
surrounded by all the death.
I sometimes think I’m still waiting for that next majorly
influential science fiction tv show in my life. There are others that I love
and characters that I adore, but none that have come close to the four here. Seven
of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager is one of my favorite characters to ever come
from the Star Trek universe, but the show doesn’t quite get up to influential
status. I keep meaning to try The Expanse and I keep forgetting to despite how
much I love Shohreh Aghdashloo. The next sci-fi show to leave me fully
transformed may not exist yet. It may be the next season of Doctor Who.
(Thirteen means an awful lot to me.) I don’t know. What I do know is that
science fiction has a profound ability to show us the best and worst about
ourselves. It can give us hope where we didn’t see any before. It gives many of
us a voice we didn’t have until we saw someone else say things we didn’t dare
breathe. I love sci-fi. I probably always will.
So, what are your favorite shows? If you watched any of
these, who are your favorite characters? What television helped transform you?